


Fun Fact

by truelyesoteric



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 20:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14961564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: Jared probably wrote the first J2-ed story on the internet, before most people RPS-ed, before the show really took off, before he actually thought about screwing Jensen.





	Fun Fact

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this Season Three-ish. It was on LJ. I just found it again and it cracked me up. I miss crack stories. So I'm bringing it back. It's almost a DECADE old. Friggen Hell.

Jensen had a whole list of things that he would never do. He got drunk and told Jared them one night after the pilot. Which was a bad idea.

When they got to Vancouver and realized that they were friends, Jared thought it would be hilarious to break these down one by one.

In his own way.

He had Sadie wake up Jensen by throwing dog treats in Jensen's crotch and Sadie happily going to fetch.

“Beastiality,” he crackled as Jensen tripped himself up and after Jared, presumably to kill him.

There were others executed in much the same way. Not quite what Jensen had in mind, but Jared-ifed.

One of these was doing porn.

The show had three episodes that had aired and there were maybe ten stories on the internet, none of them RPS, when Jared entered Jensen’s hotel room, hyper and thrust his laptop into Jared’s lap.

“Look you’re doing porn,” Jared said happily.

It was bad. Not really the situation, because random an anonomous person writing a story where you’re fucking your male co-star who has a girl friend, is straight, and plays your brother, isn’t the end of the world.

No the porn was just bad. 

“I wrote it!” Jared squeeled.

Jensen read a bit more. Jared really had no idea what happened in gay sex.

Jensen looked up at him, Jared was beaming.

“You did porn and its all over the internet,” Jared said happily.

Jensen didn’t know where to begin.

“You have three arms, I think I have two dicks, or two assholes I can’t tell,” Jensen said turing the screen to an angle, as if that would explain the badly written scene before him, “Also I really think that you never have actually gotten a blow job if you think that this is what its like.

Jared couldn’t stop laughing.

Jensen kept his eyes on the paper, reading, then he looked up at Jared. “But why did you make it porn with you?”

**

The next thing on the list almost got them killed so Jared stopped making the list of things that Jensen wouldn’t do. However poking around one day he found that stories had started abounding on the internet.

He leaned back and looked to Jensen who was trying to sleep. 

“Jensen,” Jared whispered loudly, “I invented something called RPS.”

“Good for you,” Jensen said, half asleep.

“You’re an internet porn star,” Jared said at his normal high voice.

Jensen opened one green eye.

Jared took his laptop and pushed it in Jensen’s face.

Jensen read a few lines and then sat up and grabbed the laptop. He read it and started laughing.

“Oh my god,” Jensen said, “Wow.”

“You’re taking this rather well,” Jared said with a snicker.

Jensen looked up at him, nearly crying in hysterics, “You know you’re an internet porn star too.”

Jared shook his head wide eyed, “I’m not a star. They don’t talk about my cock sucking lips or my blazing green eyes or my freckles, they’re strangely obsessed with those. No honey you are the big ole gay internet porn star.”

**

Jared took it upon himself to take care of the world of RPS that he had ‘invented.’ Al Gore would be so proud.

When there was down time and he was bored and Jensen was gone and there was nobody to distract him, he tried his hand at writing porn. He actually knew very little about guy on guy action. He had never thought about it.

He was from Texas, he was a tv teeny bopper heart throb, he was tall, he had never really wanted for the female sex, he had never thought to want to know what guys did naked.

He was now intrigued.

Jensen found his little hobby and made it a big deal of correcting his stories in red pen. It was a hilarious joke to them.

“Dude,” Jensen said rolling his eyes, “I would never call your penis man meat.”

“What would you call it,” Jared said thoughtfully.

Jensen contemplated this seriously, “Cock?”

“Dude that is so boring,” Jared sighed, “This is why I’m writer. Also I don’t know why the hell I’m sleeping with a dude who calls my mighty appendage a cock.”

Jensen stared at him, his lips trembling. Jared looked at him just as seriously.

They started snorting uncontrollably.

Then they laughed so hard they knocked over a coffee table.

They rolled on the floor for about fifteen minutes. Then they just lay there, breathing hard.

“Mighty. Appendage.” Jensen said evenly.

They couldn’t stop laughing for a long time.

**

They bonded over acting, beer, their home towns, their mommas, their families. They were bonded, but it was their secret little hobby that solidified them into something different.

Their literary sexual escapades gave them an intimacy that was rare among anyone who weren’t actually physically acquainted. 

They really had no boundaries, in front of cameras, on the red carpet, outside they were a goofy duo that was almost inseparable.

They were actually most restrained when it was just them. They were calm then, just laying on couches, watching movies, running lines, just talking.

**

Something went wrong with Jared and Sandy. Jared gave long convoluted explanations that explained nothing. Jensen didn’t push. Instead he moved in to help Jared out, to help him in the down time to get over his long relationships.

They watched the game. They played with the dogs. They occasionally wrote porn.

After two years Jared was actually getting pretty good. 

Jensen only had one rule. 

He had come home to find Jared watching gay porn with a speculative look on his face. Jared wasn’t jerking off, he was just watching.

“Oh my god,” Jensen gasped. “You’re doing research!”

Jared looked up as guilty as if he was actually watching porn for intended reason. 

**

They were traveling after season three, seeing the world, being loved by millions of girls. They were sneaking around London, dashing into shops, just being goofy.

Jared was eating fish and chips and Jensen was drinking a beer when Jensen reached out and snagged one of his fries.

It was casual and easy, and had happened a million times.

Jensen took a bite and looked up at Jared.

Jared chewed and swallowed, then he cocked his head.

“Sandy dumped me when she found out I was writing those stories,” Jared said.

Jensen’s eyebrows hit is hairline, or at least as much as could happen in reality.

“She was worried about the guy thing?” Jensen asked, he knew Sandy wasn’t that close minded.

Jared shook his head, “No she didn’t say why. She just said that she couldn’t. She just said there was something weird about it. When I told her we did it together, she left. She said that there was something very weird about us writing porn about us.”

Jensen nodded and took a sip of beer, “Danny said something about it. I mean she thought the stories were funny at first, but she started caring about you being the guy. She said somethings about the fact that we’re always together, that we know each other so well, and she said we were having pseudo sex. She said we are having an affair. That is why she left.”

They just looked at each other. 

Then Jared leaned back and put his hands behind his head.

“I bought a dildo a few years back,” Jared told him, “I was writing about it, I thought why not live it.”

Jensen understood.

“Its been a thought,” Jensen agreed.

They weren’t saying a lot of things and they both understood perfectly well.

Jared leaned in, his elbows on the table. He cocked his head, “Is it a thought when you’re alone, when you’re naked, cause that is when it is a thought for me.”

It was the first time that it was said outside the confines of their RPS world.

Jensen leaned forward, looking straight at Jared, “Is it a thought when you have your fake cock in your ass?”

Jared licked his lips anxiously.

Jensen tiled his head, his voice going dangerously low, “Doesn’t look like you think the words cock is so boring now.”

Jared shook his head, his hazel eyes going wide.

**

Well it wasn’t perfect. They didn’t see sparks when they first kissed. It wasn’t magical.

But they knew each other. They had touched each other a million times. They knew what each other felt like, they knew what each other liked in theory. 

They knew each other.

So in the end; sloppy, momentarily awkward, little fits of giggles was perfect.

Jared came back from the bathroom looking at Jensen who was laying in the bed, sheet at his waist.

Jensen was grinning and had a bright red mark on his shoulder. Jared kind of itched to reach out. He crossed the room and slid in under the sheets.

“If you say the truth is better than our fiction,” Jensen began, “I will never do that with you again. I will fucking end this affair, leave the show, and disappear into oblivion.”

Jared grinned and raised an eyebrow, “We’re so dumb, we’ve been doing that the entire time, even though we’ve been doing this the entire time.”

“I think we’re done writing,” Jensen agreed, moving over Jared.

Jared looked up at the very big naked male over him. He had never been with anyone who remotely came close to him in size. 

He liked it.

He liked it a lot.

Jared grinned and nodded his head, “We’ve got so much better things to do.”


End file.
